Pray, Say Schmarter

So, we went to church to find somebody was trying to be 'schmart.'
I started to come up with things like... 'Don't get schmart with me! Schmarter than the average bear! Are you schmarter than a 5th grader?'
At least it brought a smile to my face.
I had a question answered by the pastor today... I only asked the question recently and I was contemplating the answer when... there it was... close to the end of the sermon...
So, I'll bet you want to know what the question is, right?
Well, here goes...
"Does God feel?"
Well, the pastor said that we can break God's heart so... if anybody has ever had their heart broken, then, yes, I would say... God does feel!
After church we went to a flea market and then to Tim Horton's for lunch. As we were sitting there, I looked over and said to a woman, "You look like you just came from church."
She replied, "Yes, we did!"
I replied, "Which church do you attend?"
"St.Chad's," she said.
"Oh, I was going to guess that one but I didn't want to freak you out," Simmy said. "We go to your garage sale sometimes."
"Oh, good," the woman replied.
The man turned to say, "We usually go and check things out early, before it opens." He got up casually and went to get a napkin and when he came back to the table, Simmy caught a glimpse of light... she glanced over and saw a cross hanging from his neck. Her eyes slowly looked a little higher and she saw the black shirt and white collar giveaway... for just a moment Simmy had that 'gulp- I'm talking to this reverend like he's a normal guy' awkward moment.
"Hey, that's cheating," she said with a chuckle.
"Well, there has to be a little benefit for us," said the woman gently.
"You're right. I agree," Simmy smiled.
They shook hands with Sam and Simmy when they were leaving the restaurant and the woman said, "I'm legally blind," as she leaned in close to get a good look at Simmy's face.
Before Simmy could close her big mouth, out came, "Oh, being legally blind is not a problem... being spiritually blind is and you're not that."
Oy! Why do I always have to say what I think? Did that make her feel better? I thought I was saying what might make her feel better... Oy! That wasn't very smart!