Good Forgiving Friends

Chapter 60 (cont'd)
As J.P. & Crew left to get the scenes set for the next day, Jayne stayed seated and Don came back to ask if she was catching a lift back.
"No, I need to talk to Simmy for a bit. I'll catch a taxi later if I need to."
Don looked at Simmy and she waved him off, "Go! I'll see to it that she gets on set when she's needed. You've got her cellphone number, yes?"
Don nodded and turned to get in the car with the rest of the Crew.
Simmy sat down at the little garden table and asked, "More coffee?"
Jayne was fidgeting already but replied anyway, "Yes, tea would be even better though."
Simmy got up and said, "I'll go make some. You just sit and enjoy the beautiful weather."
Ten minutes later Simmy came back outside with hot tea, milk and sugar. The wall of sweet peas was off season this year. It was blooming in the warm Autumn days.
"What's off today, Jayne?" Simmy poured two mugs of tea.
"I'm really struggling with some of my relationships. I'm having a hard time forgiving people. I just don't know if I'm capable of forgiving."
"None of us are on our own. Your fresh relationship with Jesus is going to be a test on many days. Sometimes it's good to deal with one thing at a time. If you try to tackle all of your past at once, it'll sink you like a submarine without a snorkel, if you're not careful."
"Well, I just feel so overwhelmed right now."
Simmy calmly took a sip of tea, "Do you know what my Doctor said to me a few years ago?" Simmy didn't wait for an answer. "He said that every healthy person goes through three bouts of depression in their lifetime. That's normal."
Jayne looked at Simmy cautiously. "Normal?" She spoke the word slowly.
"He also said, 'your life is like a lake and the problems that you haven't dealt with are like balls that you try to keep under the water. The harder you try to keep all the balls under, the more frenzied you'll get and, eventually, you just can't do it anymore."
"That's how I feel right now. My ex-husband and I are still having spats. I thought when we split that I would be free, if you know what I mean."
"Forgiving is the method that brings freedom," Simmy said.
"How can I forgive the things he did?"
"Let me quote Dr. James Richards, 'Forgiveness doesn't have anything to do with saying it's okay!'"
"Well, that's a relief!" Jayne sat back and relaxed for the first time that day. "Because what he did is not okay!" She stated emphatically.
"That's right! You have to deal in truth. I used to hang out with a woman who had some leadership duties in my church. She would tell me the crazy things people would do or say to her and I would respond with, "What? Are you serious?"
"Then she would respond with, 'Oh, it's okay,' in a very unconvincing tone."
Jayne was listening intently, "What did you say then?"
"I asked her one day, 'Why do you always say, the rotten things people do and say to you are okay? They're not okay! Why do you do that?"
"And then?" Jayne was leaning forward.
"She didn't want to talk about it any further so I dropped the subject. But... because she wouldn't deal with the problem, she started acting the same as these other people. And... when she directed that meanness my way, I quit the relationship because nobody likes to be crapped on all the time."
"Ooh, I don't want to become mean," Jayne shook her head as she picked up her mug for comfort.
"'It's a new day' is a television program that I watch quite frequently, if the guest is interesting." Simmy grinned. "This last week, Willard said, 'If a certain behaviour is accepted in a group, then, when you live within that behaviour, you will do it without any conscience qualm. You won't FEEL," Simmy emphasized that word, 'like it's lying or cheating. So, your heart gets convinced that it's the right way to go.'"
"Oh, oh, I can see this slippery slope," Jayne mumbled.
"'As long as we stay within that world, we could have sinful behaviours that are accepted within that group.' End quote!"
"So, deal in truth," Jayne said.
"You have to start there, Honey. It helps if you just start being honest with yourself. You can't make other people change but you don't have to hang out with people who are crapping on you either. Find some good, forgiving friends. Wholesome!"