Rogue Vogue Recipe

It all started with a spider... I added some loud music by Martini, I mean Martina, sorry... and it all went silly and mad from there once I added a water hose.

On this sunny, sultry, (say it really slow and pucker your lips on the tr) September morning, Simmy went to check on the wall of sweet peas clinging to the screened in gazebo.
Some had reached the fascia board and it was time to celebrate the existential growth of the sweet peas, and hopefully the parallel journey that Simmy was on too, that proved you can overcome annoyances,...
such as the seemingly endless Centreport Canada Initiative taking place right behind her back yard... Ahem!
... and still grow in human spirit and generosity and... all those good things.
As Simmy was staring at the fascia board, she noticed that big spider that they hadn't gotten rid of a couple of months ago, and he had been mating.
"That's it, you're done for Buddy!"
Out came the ladder, the bug spray, and when that only turned the spider a bit drunken,... out came the water hose.
"I'll blast you out of there!" Passionately and sincerely she applied some PSI ( passionate, sincere, individual), or pounds per square inch for the science and technology buffs, and pounded the water at the little critters.
So busy was Simmy trying to blast the spiders out of the eaves that she didn't realize that the water was, quite obviously to any onlooker, being sprayed all over her furniture inside the gazebo.
She let go of the hose trigger immediately, ran around to look at what the damage was... pulled the sofa to safety, went into the house... just to hear Martina belting out...
no copy of Vogue magazine
don't need to dress like no Beauty Queen

High heels and sneakers...
Kierkegaard was postulating in her ears, "An individual is solely responsible for giving his or her own life meaning."
Out came the props for a photo shoot and soon she was in a giggle living out the song blaring out the screen door, totally distracted from the endless machinery noise just a few feet over.
... loves me just the way that I am...
As she laid down on the grass to take a few photos, she had, inconveniently, forgotten about the wet grass which quickly soaked her underpants, and she had a distinct empathy for models.
"I don't know how they smile through all this!" Simmy fashioned.

According to Kierkegaard, existential obstacles and
distractions
include...
despair,
absurdity,
angst,
alienation,
and boredom.
Broken down into more easily understood Latin,...


des-
(key)
pair
(two)
ab-
(away from)
surd
(muffled)
angst
(fear or anxiety)
alien-
(very different)
-ation
(action)
boredom
(tedium)

 
 Then, reworked into story form...
The key pair of spiders engendered angst, in Simmy, leading to very different actions, absurd, some might say, which muffled the distracting machinery noise behind my yard greatly alleviating my boredom.
There you go...
existentialism explained.
Simmy felt a rumble... yes, yes, she thought, theistic existentialists, God and Kierkegaard having a good laugh at her,... with her???
... and people wonder where I get my ideas to write novels...
... And you thought I couldn't put existentialism and fashion in the same story... shame on you!