Sunday, January 9, 2011

Mattress Money

Sam came out of the 'Men of Steel' bathroom and Simmy stopped him in his tracks, shaving cream still clinging to Sams' face, and she said, "I'm thinking of writing a blog on 'Your bank, the Prostitute' but I don't want to insult prostitutes.
Sam chuckled and said, "Well, credit unions used to be better than banks but people don't really see them that way anymore now that their practices are starting to look the same."
"I really think that the new banking practices are threatening to create a keep your money in your mattress mentality again. These new fee methods are being developed for the person who can't do simple accounting."
"Mmm Hmm," Sam said and went to wash the shaving cream off his face.
Simmy recalled two incidents in the last month that had her steamed over what the bank was doing.
The first one had come in the form of a letter informing them that the bank would be charging a $35 fee to all of their customers who were allowing the bank to pay their property taxes for them. In years past this was a 'banking service' that was offered freely and, should one stop to think... yes, the government would likely desire this method of service as well because, then, they could possibly, get the property tax money into their coffers, to re-distribute it again, more quickly? (This story will not be discussing where the government distributes the money... that is for another day.)
So, Simmy had got on the phone quickly to speak to a person at the bank...
Conversation between Simmy and bank employee...
"I want to know how I can make sure I don't have to pay this fee," Simmy said.
"Well, you can close that account and put the money you have in there, into a savings account," bank employee said with perfect suggestion training.
Simmy thought, 'I have been thinking it is a good thing to get people to save a little bit of money and placing responsibility squarely on each person individually must be where we start so... this seems good.'
Verbally she said, "What is the interest rate for this account and, if you can calculate quickly please, what I would earn in interest, if I leave this amount of money in the bank for a whole year... not withdrawing any, you know."
"Well, you would earn approximately $5 for the year," said bank employee.
"Well, doesn't that seem outrageous to you? You get to charge me a fee that is 7 times, in one fell swoop, I might add, what I can earn in a year with the interest rate that you are offering me. That is unconscionable!"
Simmy was so proud of herself for keeping the street vernacular out of the conversation.
Fast forward two weeks to 'Letter #2 from the bank' informing Simmy of a $50 fee for the service of opening a business account for her small business. Please be informed that the bank had no problem giving Simmy a credit card with a limit almost twice the amount she had borrowed for her small business.
If you look at the picture, above, closely, you will see a list of fees, for that credit card, that is longer than a RAP sheet, 'Record of Arrest and Prostitution, sorry, Prosecution.'
A similar conversation ensued about the reason for this fee and, this time, Simmy was not successful... if you are a business owner, the rules are more strict and unforgiving... whether you make money or not.
The bank will get theirs... if you know what I mean.

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