Even the solution to a problem doesn't always seem like it's ideal and needs lots of TLC to make it work.
At the 'care home' Sam's mom was having some difficulties. Her hearing was not good and even with her hearing aid, it still wasn't possible for her to hear most of the time.
Quote from 'Positioned to Bless,' "There are some of you who may be in some troublesome places regarding authority. Your father may have abused you, you may have suffered injustice by those in authority over you at work or in your church, and even though you have forgiven the individuals, you still have a tainted perspective of authority. Every time you hear the word authority, or the word submit, you cringe because your perception of submission is that it is going to violate and take advantage of you."
Such was the situation they all found themselves in now. Sam said his Dad never explained anything to his Mom so she just couldn't trust and it was heart-wrenching to watch the outcome.
She was in a state of paranoia and distrust of the staff. She wasn't being listened to when she needed to be heard so she was always feeling violated.
One of the daughters had left a family journal in the night stand and Simmy hand- printed the information that the nurse gave them... regarding the 'care home procedures and protocol' to protect the residents' hearing aids.
The staff would lock them away for the night so they couldn't be stolen by anyone. This particular hearing aid cost about $4000 dollars and was the most dear thing she had ever owned. She felt it was stolen from her every night when the nurse would try to take it, to safeguard it from possible theft.
Simmy tried her best to write out all the situation so that Sams' mom could read it all the next day and, hopefully, come to some peace about it.
Information is key to avoiding trauma. Simmy lived her life by that credo. It gives one a chance to choose to make sound decisions. It is honouring to give people information that gives them a chance to make decisions.
Come to think of it, almost all the situations in life that had become contentious could have been avoided by the giving of information. Information gives perspective.
In the book 'Forgiving the Unforgivable' one of the tools people use to dishonour others is the withholding of information.
Now that Sam and Simmy had access to his mom, she was going to get all the explanations they could give her... hopefully she would soon feel 'in the loop.'
Explanations can bring... peace.
Now, it takes time to give an explanation and then to listen to the response and then to explain, then to listen,... that's probably why the staff ignored her.
They had physical duties and wanted to fulfill their responsibilities.
"Oy!"
How do you change a lifetime of mistrust? No easy answers.
No comments:
Post a Comment